The Woods (2005)

Lucky McKee hit a quirky little triple with his debut pic MAY, a small independent horror movie about a lonely girl that decides if you can't find someone to love, make someone to love. His next film, THE WOODS, languished in studio Hell for an eternity, eventually worming its way onto DVD a month ago. While not as fresh as his previous film, McKee inject a lot of atmosphere and disturbing images into a story that doesn't quite make sense to make THE WOODS a worthwhile diversion.

From what I can recollect of the plot, Heather (played by Agnes Bruckner) is a bad girl sent to an isolated boarding school for something involving both a fire (that's never really explained) and pissing off her uptight mother. Once there she is ostracized by her peers, discovers she has mysterious telekinetic powers, and that there's something not quite right with the staff.

The boarding school is headed up by a prim and proper Patricia Clarkson, who apparently is a witch or human manifestation of the evil spirits of woods. 100 years prior she, along with her sisters, were persecuted by the very same school and responded by chop chop chopping off the head of the former school mistress. They're looking for young girls with special "gifts" that will enable them to initiate something mean and nasty. Again, I was never quite sure what the goal was - it might have been something about resurrecting the dead girls from 100 years ago or waking the spirits in the woods...who knows?

The effects are good - nothing spectacular but they do what they're needed to do. The acting all around is good, especially Clarkson, who doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to do but makes the most of it. The school staff in general is full of so many tics and tremors that it lends to a sense of restlessness and anticipation whenever they're on screen.

If you get past the convoluted plot, there are plenty of great images, sound effects, and sense of dread to appreciate. And if you can't take any of that, either, you get Bruce "I'm frickin' Ash" Campbell playing a supporting role as Heather's loving father. What's not to like?

The Woods (2005)

Lucky McKee hit a quirky little triple with his debut pic MAY, a small independent horror movie about a lonely girl that decides if you can't find someone to love, make someone to love. His next film, THE WOODS, languished in studio Hell for an eternity, eventually worming its way onto DVD a month ago. While not as fresh as his previous film, McKee inject a lot of atmosphere and disturbing images into a story that doesn't quite make sense to make THE WOODS a worthwhile diversion.

From what I can recollect of the plot, Heather (played by Agnes Bruckner) is a bad girl sent to an isolated boarding school for something involving both a fire (that's never really explained) and pissing off her uptight mother. Once there she is ostracized by her peers, discovers she has mysterious telekinetic powers, and that there's something not quite right with the staff.

The boarding school is headed up by a prim and proper Patricia Clarkson, who apparently is a witch or human manifestation of the evil spirits of woods. 100 years prior she, along with her sisters, were persecuted by the very same school and responded by chop chop chopping off the head of the former school mistress. They're looking for young girls with special "gifts" that will enable them to initiate something mean and nasty. Again, I was never quite sure what the goal was - it might have been something about resurrecting the dead girls from 100 years ago or waking the spirits in the woods...who knows?

The effects are good - nothing spectacular but they do what they're needed to do. The acting all around is good, especially Clarkson, who doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to do but makes the most of it. The school staff in general is full of so many tics and tremors that it lends to a sense of restlessness and anticipation whenever they're on screen.

If you get past the convoluted plot, there are plenty of great images, sound effects, and sense of dread to appreciate. And if you can't take any of that, either, you get Bruce "I'm frickin' Ash" Campbell playing a supporting role as Heather's loving father. What's not to like?

Diary of the Dead (2008)

There are few movies that can be said to have changed the face of modern horror. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. HALLOWEEN. The number drops even lower when you consider the impact of a franchise on modern horror.

But how often is it that the second or third film in a franchise continues to change the way we think, view, and more importantly film horror? If George A. Romero and his series of classic DEAD films don't immediately spring to mind, chances are you may be a shuffling, mindless ghoul yourself.

The history of the series, the social commentary that inhabit them, and the frustration and challenges that each film underwent to come to life make up a story in and of themselves. The fights over ownership of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and the abomination of the anniversary edition complete with "newly shot footage" (all done without Romero's participation or consent). The long struggle to bring the fourth film (originally titled TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD) out of development Hell and into reality as LAND OF THE DEAD, a film I still say stands proudly along the others, even if it sits a little lower. So when rumors started to float about another DEAD film, one that would be completely independent of studio control and that would invite the guerrilla spirit of the first film, I was in 100%. The Man had a plan, and he was going to take things in an entirely new direction. Witness the initial outbreak from the glass eyes that dominate the cultural landscape, where nothing is real unless you see it on TV. Skewer the media, comment on America's growing obsession with voyeurism as a means to distance our selves from reality, and maybe scare the pants off us in the bargain.

Well, DIARY OF THE DEAD tries really hard to do all those things, but unfortunately falls flat because of one gigantic issue that, try as I might, I could not see past.

This is some of the worst acting I've ever seen.

The story is edited together by survivor Debra from the footage shot by her asinine boyfriend Jason, a film student shooting a no-budget horror film with his friends/classmates for his senior project. At the outset you're told through narration that this is going to look like a movie, it's even cued with music because the intent is to scare enough people to wake them up to what's happening across the country. It's a great concept, and interspersed throughout the "edit" are clips from television, radio, and Internet broadcasts that Romero uses to expand and color both the world the characters are inhabiting and to highlight the social commentary. And it's all great stuff, but unfortunately it's background to the main story of these film students trying to get across Pennsylvania.

And brother, you have never seen performances this hackneyed and boring.

Some of the blame does fall on Romero's script, which has plenty of brilliance but is also saddled with silly cliches and character quirks that drag everything down. The professor, always looking for the next drink while offering insipid observations that hit the ground like a dead bird. Who also, it must be noted, was apparently a soldier and an archery champion if you're to believe his actions. There's a southern belle who actually screams "Don't mess with Texas" at one point. And I hesitate to even mention the deaf Amish farmer, except to say that for some reason I found him to be one of the more endearing characters in the film. Everyone plays a "type" of role instead of embodying a character. I know our country's youth is supposed to be jaded and desensitized to violence thanks to video games and Sylvester Stallone movies (BTW, I really liked RAMBO - just sayin'), but the zombies exhibit more personality than the living.

I hate that DIARY OF THE DEAD is as bad as it is, because there are some excellent ideas and sequences that, had they been better acted, would have been wonderful. There's a town everyone's abandoned except for a black militant group, who explain that if this is what it took to give them a chance, they're going to take every advantage of it. There's the constant murmurings from the radios and televisions sets, including a great cameo by Romero in a bit that captures our fears of how the Media really operates. Even the main argument between the leads about choosing to film events instead of actively participating in securing their survival is inspired, but fails because we don't care one bit about the people having the argument.

DIARY OF THE DEAD is a huge disappointment, a great concept that is killed in it's execution. I checked imdb.com and found that Romero is already working on a sequel. Let's hope that whatever comes out fixes the gross errors of judgment inherent in this one.

Diary of the Dead (2008)

There are few movies that can be said to have changed the face of modern horror. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. HALLOWEEN. The number drops even lower when you consider the impact of a franchise on modern horror.

But how often is it that the second or third film in a franchise continues to change the way we think, view, and more importantly film horror? If George A. Romero and his series of classic DEAD films don't immediately spring to mind, chances are you may be a shuffling, mindless ghoul yourself.

The history of the series, the social commentary that inhabit them, and the frustration and challenges that each film underwent to come to life make up a story in and of themselves. The fights over ownership of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and the abomination of the anniversary edition complete with "newly shot footage" (all done without Romero's participation or consent). The long struggle to bring the fourth film (originally titled TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD) out of development Hell and into reality as LAND OF THE DEAD, a film I still say stands proudly along the others, even if it sits a little lower. So when rumors started to float about another DEAD film, one that would be completely independent of studio control and that would invite the guerrilla spirit of the first film, I was in 100%. The Man had a plan, and he was going to take things in an entirely new direction. Witness the initial outbreak from the glass eyes that dominate the cultural landscape, where nothing is real unless you see it on TV. Skewer the media, comment on America's growing obsession with voyeurism as a means to distance our selves from reality, and maybe scare the pants off us in the bargain.

Well, DIARY OF THE DEAD tries really hard to do all those things, but unfortunately falls flat because of one gigantic issue that, try as I might, I could not see past.

This is some of the worst acting I've ever seen.

The story is edited together by survivor Debra from the footage shot by her asinine boyfriend Jason, a film student shooting a no-budget horror film with his friends/classmates for his senior project. At the outset you're told through narration that this is going to look like a movie, it's even cued with music because the intent is to scare enough people to wake them up to what's happening across the country. It's a great concept, and interspersed throughout the "edit" are clips from television, radio, and Internet broadcasts that Romero uses to expand and color both the world the characters are inhabiting and to highlight the social commentary. And it's all great stuff, but unfortunately it's background to the main story of these film students trying to get across Pennsylvania.

And brother, you have never seen performances this hackneyed and boring.

Some of the blame does fall on Romero's script, which has plenty of brilliance but is also saddled with silly cliches and character quirks that drag everything down. The professor, always looking for the next drink while offering insipid observations that hit the ground like a dead bird. Who also, it must be noted, was apparently a soldier and an archery champion if you're to believe his actions. There's a southern belle who actually screams "Don't mess with Texas" at one point. And I hesitate to even mention the deaf Amish farmer, except to say that for some reason I found him to be one of the more endearing characters in the film. Everyone plays a "type" of role instead of embodying a character. I know our country's youth is supposed to be jaded and desensitized to violence thanks to video games and Sylvester Stallone movies (BTW, I really liked RAMBO - just sayin'), but the zombies exhibit more personality than the living.

I hate that DIARY OF THE DEAD is as bad as it is, because there are some excellent ideas and sequences that, had they been better acted, would have been wonderful. There's a town everyone's abandoned except for a black militant group, who explain that if this is what it took to give them a chance, they're going to take every advantage of it. There's the constant murmurings from the radios and televisions sets, including a great cameo by Romero in a bit that captures our fears of how the Media really operates. Even the main argument between the leads about choosing to film events instead of actively participating in securing their survival is inspired, but fails because we don't care one bit about the people having the argument.

DIARY OF THE DEAD is a huge disappointment, a great concept that is killed in it's execution. I checked imdb.com and found that Romero is already working on a sequel. Let's hope that whatever comes out fixes the gross errors of judgment inherent in this one.

Leatherheads (2008)

George Clooney's LEATHERHEADS falls into the same category as fun films like THE IMPOSTERS and (very specifically) THE HUDSUCKER PROXY, recalling the (largely forgotten) screwball comedies of the 30's and 40's. And while it doesn't reach the dizzying heights of those films made famous by the likes of Cary Grant and Irene Dunne, it gets a lot right, and comes off as a refreshingly pleasant comedy, a nice alternative to the glut of Apatow-influenced movies that have been playing as of late.

Not that there's anything wrong with those comedies. But with seemingly six such films coming a month, something that plays by an older set of rules feels like a breath of fresh air. And 90% of this credit should go to Clooney, who knows how to milk comedy out of ordinary moments without having to always play it over the top. The opening scene is fantastic and, as noted elsewhere, probably displays the finest cow acting outside of TOP SECRET! I've ever seen. As Dodge Connolly, the star of the Duluth Bulldogs, a professional football in 1925 that's in danger of going under, Clooney gets to play the Cary Grant role to the hilt, complete with the snazzy one-liners and the wonderful facial expressions, especially during any scene involving getting punched or tackled.

Both John Krasinski and Renee Zellwegger as the other two thirds of the obligatory love trinagle work their roles well. Krasinski in particular uses the boyish charm from The Office to great effect in a role that changes over the course of the movie. Zellwegger stays away from the obvious tough girl reporter imitation that Jennifer Jason Leigh used in HUDSUCKER and instead just plays it straight with a hint of sarcasm and confidence. But the real joy is in the supporting cast, made up of Coen Brother alumni like Stephen Roont (great in every role he takes) as the drunk reporter and Wayne Duvall as the coach of the Bulldogs. Clooney obviously learned a lot from his time with the Coens, and LEATHERHEADS benefits by wisely giving many of the best moments to the supporting cast instead of completely focusing on the stars.

The football scenes are played for laughs, not authenticity, so if you're looking for a fond, historical view of how football worked in the early days, this probably isn't going to do it for you. Most of the funny moments are in the trailer, but there's enough left to provide some good laughs and surprises, especially with the pivotal final game that manages to tie everything up in a neat little package.

It may seem like an odd fit for Clooney following on the heels of both GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK and MICHAEL CLAYTON, but as a throwback to the movies I grew up on LEATHERHEADS was a nice afternoon date with my wife.