Movie #5: My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

After traffic mishaps caused me to miss the showings for SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and GRAN TORINO I decided to jump in and experience my first live-action 3D film. MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D is a pseudo-sequel to the original schlocky 1981 horror movie. The major plot points of the original (kids hold a Valentine's Day party at an abandoned mine and are murdered by a psycho miner using a pick-axe) serve and the prologue to tell the story of what happens to the same town 10 years later when a series of killings lead the townsfolk to believe that the original killer isn't as dead as believed.

The 3D effects are generally a lot of fun, although a lot of scenes featuring establishing shots of either the town or cars made everything look like toys. The opening of the film has the best use of the effect, as the camera slowly moves from room to room in the hospital where, until recently, killer Harry Warden was in a coma. The films earns its R rating as body after body drip from the screen. Unfortunately the promise of the opening doesn't last through the rest of the movie, as a series of new murders occur and it's up to a batch of unbelievable 20-somethings to figure out who did it and why. The murders, when they occur, are fun to watch and there are some fun black moments, but lapses in logic and poor acting (except for Tom Atkins, who is great) leave this just another muddled mess in the end that's absolutely unnecessary in 2D.

A lot of people will argue that I'm not getting the point, that films like this are meant to be bad, and the fun is in the blood and guts and fresh ways of using a pick-axe. MY BLOODY VALENTINE has some fun to be sure, and the 3D is a pretty fun way to go for a horror movie.

But c'mon...this isn't a very good movie. If you know that, and you're with a bunch of friends and looking for some laughs and - by all means check MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D out as long as you can see it in 3D. In all other respects this is a completely unnecessary movie.